This is an article that my step-father found in USA Today. I just thought I'd share it since I thought it was hilarious. It looks like something straight out of a movie! It's a MUST read! =)
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-01-19-warofroses_x.htm?POE=click-refer
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Panic!
I was just looking at my last post, and towards the end of it I was reminded of one of these crazy panicy moments, back in college.
Well, I went to the same college as my brother, and he and I had basically the same group of friends. These were all friends we grew up with and ones we made at college. Usually, on Shabbos, we would all get together for dinner- we're talking about 10 or more of us on a normal Shabbat.
One Shabbat, while we were in the middle of dinner, one of my friends was talking about how he had left his dorm room door open that day. When he got back, he saw some guy he doesn't really know at his computer. My brother quickly jumped into the conversation, and told me in front of EVERYBODY that he noticed that I too left my door open, and that when he walked in the other day, he turned on my computer screen and saw that there was gay porn on the browser. He continued to say that he scrolled down just to check if ANY of it was straight, and surely enough it wasn't.
My brother was convinced it was this crazy random guy. As soon as the words "gay porn" had left his mouth, I was in panic mode!! My heart skipped a beat, my hands started to sweat, and I was trying so hard to keep my hands from shaking under the table! Outside I was just trying to keep my cool, but inside I was yelling at the top of my lungs at my brother, "Don't say another word you IDIOT!!!!!........ Stop Talking!!!!" I think there was even a long pause after that. I think I ended up responding, "that's freaky!" - something stupid like that.
Anyway, thank G-d someone changed the subject after that. I really could not believe that my own brother didn't put two and two together, especially since that was like the 3rd or 4th time he had found gay porn on my computer. I just wish he had dealt with this with me individually, instead of at dinner when he had all of our friends' undivided attention.
................But hey..... looking back... it IS kinda funny. No?
Well, I went to the same college as my brother, and he and I had basically the same group of friends. These were all friends we grew up with and ones we made at college. Usually, on Shabbos, we would all get together for dinner- we're talking about 10 or more of us on a normal Shabbat.
One Shabbat, while we were in the middle of dinner, one of my friends was talking about how he had left his dorm room door open that day. When he got back, he saw some guy he doesn't really know at his computer. My brother quickly jumped into the conversation, and told me in front of EVERYBODY that he noticed that I too left my door open, and that when he walked in the other day, he turned on my computer screen and saw that there was gay porn on the browser. He continued to say that he scrolled down just to check if ANY of it was straight, and surely enough it wasn't.
My brother was convinced it was this crazy random guy. As soon as the words "gay porn" had left his mouth, I was in panic mode!! My heart skipped a beat, my hands started to sweat, and I was trying so hard to keep my hands from shaking under the table! Outside I was just trying to keep my cool, but inside I was yelling at the top of my lungs at my brother, "Don't say another word you IDIOT!!!!!........ Stop Talking!!!!" I think there was even a long pause after that. I think I ended up responding, "that's freaky!" - something stupid like that.
Anyway, thank G-d someone changed the subject after that. I really could not believe that my own brother didn't put two and two together, especially since that was like the 3rd or 4th time he had found gay porn on my computer. I just wish he had dealt with this with me individually, instead of at dinner when he had all of our friends' undivided attention.
................But hey..... looking back... it IS kinda funny. No?
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Leading a Double Life
I was reading an article the other day about why all kinds of people lead double lives, whether it's someone who hides being half black, someone who hides their religious background, or someone who hides their sexuality. Obviously some benefit is gained, or believed to be gained, by doing this. In the article, one guy was able to get ordained as a conservative rabbi, something he would not have been able to do had he not hidden the fact that he was gay. Another guy denied he was black since middle school because he saw how the white students at his school received more attention. These are just a couple of examples of people leading a double life merely to achieve ordinary ends.
I was definitely able to relate to this article, and maybe a lot more people can relate to it to some degree as well. What I gain most I think is acceptance. If I told my straight friends about me... sure most will still be friends with me, but most don't understand and/or can't relate, and would perhaps feel at least a little uneasy/uncomfortable around me at times. I think I will no longer be as close to some, probably because they will no longer think we are so much alike after all, or don't want to be associated with me as before. I simply do not want to be treated any differently as I am now.
It's not fun having to lie to most of my friends and family. I'm not just talking about hiding my sexuality; I'm talking about lying about where I'm going on a Saturday night, who I'm going with, how I know a certain someone, why I keep saying that I'm not ready to start dating seriously, etc... It's hard sometimes keeping all these lies straight, and one lie leads to another, and sometimes it starts getting a little hairy!
I was talking to my best friend's sister the other day about where I hung out last week. I had told this friend the name of a bar in The Village that doesn't even exist, because I know he wouldn't recognize it since he doesn't go out much. I definitely didn't want to give him the name to a gay club. His sister, on the other hand, knows basically all the bars/clubs in the city. She asked me which place I went to, in front of my friend. I gave her a different name - the first straight club that popped into my head, which is nowhere near the village. Luckily, my friend wasn't even paying attention, but if he was things could have got a little crazy.
There have been so many of these close-call situations in my life, too many! There have been times where I've almost had panic attacks!!!... and I never get those! Overall, I've become really good at coming up with stories to cover my tracks, but it's not something I'm proud of. Even though I think there is a positive purpose to this lying, I don't feel great about lying to my friends and family. I feel like I'm giving them a false sense of who I really am. But then again, I'm sure most will understand (I hope?).
I was definitely able to relate to this article, and maybe a lot more people can relate to it to some degree as well. What I gain most I think is acceptance. If I told my straight friends about me... sure most will still be friends with me, but most don't understand and/or can't relate, and would perhaps feel at least a little uneasy/uncomfortable around me at times. I think I will no longer be as close to some, probably because they will no longer think we are so much alike after all, or don't want to be associated with me as before. I simply do not want to be treated any differently as I am now.
It's not fun having to lie to most of my friends and family. I'm not just talking about hiding my sexuality; I'm talking about lying about where I'm going on a Saturday night, who I'm going with, how I know a certain someone, why I keep saying that I'm not ready to start dating seriously, etc... It's hard sometimes keeping all these lies straight, and one lie leads to another, and sometimes it starts getting a little hairy!
I was talking to my best friend's sister the other day about where I hung out last week. I had told this friend the name of a bar in The Village that doesn't even exist, because I know he wouldn't recognize it since he doesn't go out much. I definitely didn't want to give him the name to a gay club. His sister, on the other hand, knows basically all the bars/clubs in the city. She asked me which place I went to, in front of my friend. I gave her a different name - the first straight club that popped into my head, which is nowhere near the village. Luckily, my friend wasn't even paying attention, but if he was things could have got a little crazy.
There have been so many of these close-call situations in my life, too many! There have been times where I've almost had panic attacks!!!... and I never get those! Overall, I've become really good at coming up with stories to cover my tracks, but it's not something I'm proud of. Even though I think there is a positive purpose to this lying, I don't feel great about lying to my friends and family. I feel like I'm giving them a false sense of who I really am. But then again, I'm sure most will understand (I hope?).
Monday, January 1, 2007
Happy National Hangover Day!
I know New Years isn't really a holiday Jews are supposed to celebrate, but the best New Years parties are the Jewish parties! I went to a party last night with my brother and a few friends, and had tons of fun. I just had waaaaaay too much to drink. Let's just say I don't remember a large part of that night, and my brother has some embarassing pictures of me!!! .... Family.... gotta love 'em! It's okay, he's the one that had to take care of me! =D
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